Non-compliant patients behaving badly
I often see patients referred by their physicians and cardiologists after suffering a heart attack or having undergone open-heart surgery because their doctors are at their wits' end about how to enforce post-operation treatment compliance. These people usually...
Watch for signs of teen suicide
On the news the other day they were discussing the suicide of a teenager when the announcer said suicide is now the second biggest cause of teen deaths in South Africa. Disturbing as this is, it did not surprise me. In 1986, when I was a psychology intern, I worked at...
The many crises in your life make you who you are …Part 2
Last week I wrote about psychologist Erik Erikson's theory of "life crises" and his interest in how our interactions with our environment shape our personality. We explored the first three of his eight stages of psychosocial development. This week I want to complete...
Psychological development and how to embrace what life throws at you…Part 1
I saw a patient a last week who is a competent, attractive, professional woman of 31. She has been living with her 29-year-old boyfriend for the past two years. They have a baby of six months and have been going out for five years. She came to see me because she is...
It’s a tragedy when grief can’t be expressed
I consulted with a 65-year-old woman some time ago. For 42 years she had been involved in a relationship with a man she described as "beautiful". He had died from colon cancer a few weeks prior to her seeing me. She was lonely and missing him terribly. I explained...
Managing a new family after remarriage
I saw a 16-year-old last week who was referred because of a fairly sudden drop in his grades at school. As our session progressed, he spoke of his fears regarding his mother's impending second marriage. She was about to marry a man who had been married before and had...
Nurture the self to weather any storm in your personal life
Last week I watched Carte Blanche, which was both riveting and disturbing. It concerned the murders of Brett Golding and Richard Bloom. At some point, the investigative journalist ended up in Manenberg, on the Cape Flats, which is notorious for its violence, drugs and...
Wife abuse his rife in SA, and knows no barriers
During the normal course of my work, I regularly treat people who are victims of violence. These are ordinary South Africans who have survived hijackings, muggings and robberies. Some have endured terrible beatings and torture, and almost inevitably end up suffering...
Learning to cope with death
I attended two funerals this week. One was a 32-year-old who was killed in a motorcycle accident and the other was 78-year-old who died after a long struggle with cancer. What was interesting for me was the response of the mourners at the two funerals. For the young...
It’s official: Get your body fit and your mind will follow
It's almost summer again and the television ads are rapidly changing from cough and flu medication to a plethora of slimming aids and devices to get those six-packs to show off at the beach. It's amazing how each year, just when you think there can't possibly be...
Forgiving is not an event
I have been seeing a 42-year-old female | patient for a few weeks now. She is an attractive, highly intelligent professional woman. She has been living with a man for the past 10 years. It started out well but after three years or so there were regular rumours of him...
If you seek happiness, learn to choose the best options
Last week I wrote about the search for happiness and how elusive it can be. This week I want to focus on how of many of us actually choose to be unhappy. Take, for example, a man I saw some time ago. He was 30, and came in for psychotherapy because he was unhappy...
Having an affair isn’t worth the inevitable pain that follows
I had dinner with a friend the other night. He is a partner in a law firm and specialises in divorce. He said that in his experience, over 85% of divorces are precipitated by marital infidelity. It was predominantly men, but women were rapidly catching up. This trend,...
How childhood trauma shapes future behaviour
I have been counselling a 17 year old boy for the past few months. He has just been expelled from an expensive private school. I started seeing him before the expulsion, when his exasperated parents brought him to me after his second suspension at school. My...
How perception affects our food consumption
Summertime and the livin’ is easy…” says the song. Summertime is also holiday time and therefore also the period of excessive eating and drinking and consequently our greatest weight gain. I wrote last week about food psychology and the many research studies being...
Happiness elusive , but we all want more
In my fifth year of studies at varsity in Maritzburg, I recall being given an academic paper to read. It was a serious proposal to declare happiness a mental illness. It was almost 21 years ago, so I don't remember the details, but the gist of the article was that...
Get in touch with your pain
Last Friday, I badly injured my back, collapsed on the bed and called out to my wife for help. She thought I was kidding around and didn't take me seriously because I hadn't yelled out In pain nor did I look like I was in pain. A phone call to my physiotherapist and...
Evil flourishes as the good stand by
Last week I wrote about the psychological phenomenon known as the "bystander effect" - which refers to the behaviour exhibited by people in larger groups during an emergency situation. To recap, it was found that the larger the group of people, the less likely it was...
End of year, end of life
Recently I saw an 18-year-old male patient. He was an average teenager who had just completed his matric exams. He was confident that he would get a good pass and was looking forward to studying at university. He was good-looking and respectful. He explained that...
The Terence Watts BWRT Institute
The Terence Watts BWRT Institute was formerly known as The Institute of BrainWorking Recursive Therapy. It was renamed in October 2018 to better show the therapeutic origins of the process. BrainWorking Recursive Therapy® - BWRT® - was created in 2011 by Terence...
Emotional abuse erodes your true sense of self
Last week I consulted with a highly qualified, vivacious, articulate woman in her early 30s. She had brought her 10-year-old son, who has severe eczema. It had flared up horribly after he witnessed a verbal altercation between his mom and dad the previous day. This...
Cultural imperialism has no place in the 21st century
In 1997, the American Psychological Association invited two colleagues and myself to their annual convention in Chicago. I was asked to talk on racism in psychiatric hospitals in SA during apartheid. While there I had the opportunity to listen to the keynote...
Channel your anger and agitate for change
Last week I wrote about psychologist Martin Seligman's (1975) concept of learnt helplessness and how it might apply to our lives in South Africa. My concern was that, given the general powerlessness many of us feel with regard to state institutions and bureaucracy,...
Breaking-up is hard to do, so be sensitive
I was a guest on a radio programme recently. The topic was "dating and breaking-up". The discussion reaffirmed that breaking-up is as part of our everyday life as waking and sleeping. In fact, there are probably as many songs written about breaking-up as there are...
Be realistic when deciding on New Year’s resolutions
It's that time of year when many of us relax and reflect on the year that has passed. It's a time when we do our psychological balance sheet. If it looks good, we generally celebrate New Year in high spirits. If we are in psychological debt, meaning that we had more...
Act now to avoid the “if-only” guilt trap
I attended the funeral this week of my mother's oldest friend. Their friendship spanned over 50 years and was built on respect, love and humour. She passed away very quickly. My mother was happy that her friend had died painlessly, but obviously devastated by the...
Abortion who says men don’t care
It is a commonly held view that the majority of single-parent men are irresponsible fathers. One only has to visit any of the multitudes of maintenance courts across the country to view the truthfulness of this statement as thousands of women struggle to get money for...
A bully by any other name…
I have a delightful 10-year-old patient. She is sweet, well mannered and respectful. She is enthusiastic and works hard at school. Her parents brought her to me because she has been struggling with her concentration and her grades have been falling off. She has also...